Down's syndrome

The second notice By Ayako's mother

How did you tell your child about down syndrome?

I thought the end of the world when I got the notice from the doctor after Ayako's birth. Then twenty years passed. Now we parents let Ayako get the notice. I felt the notice didn't need, but my husband said, "We should tell her because she is adult." So we decided to tell. At the coming-of-age ceremony I told. "Ayako, now I tell you the important thing, so please listen carefully. You are born with the personality of down syndrome. But don't worry. Down syndrome is..." while the telling, Ayako said, "I know that. I am down syndrome." "Do you know that?" "Yes, I was said by the friend at the elementary school." I lost next words. "Do you make fun of?" I asked her carefully. "Why? I didn't make fan of. All children did friendly." She smiled and said, "Hi, wear me the kimono hurry. I will late for the ceremony. Miss S will come here to go to the ceremony together." Miss S was her friend who is neighbor and classmate from the day care center. Perhaps Miss S taught Ayako was down syndrome.

At the ceremony there ware many friends who wear the kimono beautifully. Ayako spoke cheerfully with them. She looked like happy around her friends. We parents wept a little watching such Ayako. "She knew from the elementary school", I said so, my husband answered, "She grow tougher than our thought. Hey, look at that smile. There are many friends, and that is good environment." I thought how she was depressed by the notice from her friend. Ayako who joined to the ceremony with the notice grew wonderfully.

There ware various things for these twenty years. Fortunately, her disorder was slight, so she could go to the normal elementary school, normal junior high school, and normal high school. But we worried that she couldn't the same things compared to her friends. We worried she should go to the supported school when she went to the junior high school and the high school. But Ayako said, "I want to the same school with my friends although the study is difficult for me." She said so, and studied several times of her friends. She spent very hard. We also taught her the study. She wanted to go to the juku, so we let her go to there.

"You are really hard." I said to Ayako when we went back from the ceremony. "...Too hard." Ayako said from the bottom of her heart. And she cried. She cried like the makeup was collapsed. She cried like the tension was broken. "Although I am down syndrome, I did hard, didn't I? Surely did I?" she said so, I answered, "You did best in the world. Really you did well." "I think so." Then she smiled cheerfully with much tears. It was the best smile. The picture that was taken then is displayed at the living room now. The makeup ware collapsed Ayako and I. But the full smiles for three family. It was the twenty years that there ware various things crying and smiling.

There will be occurred various things. My child who was continuously exposed with the prejudice eyes. I can't remember, when Ayako was a kid yet, Miss S said, "Miss Ayako is strange face." Then I think no care, because it was kid's words, but now I think it was the voice of the world. But we live toughly no minding such a thing. That my family three persons friendly, cheerfully, and smiling is the best present for Ayako. We can look at Ayako's smile in the future!

Extremely loving By bakery

I opened the bakery with my daughter. It was at that my daughter was eighteen years old. Now twelve years passed. There ware various things while a time.

No guests came to the bakery since opening. My daughter and I spent crying. But my daughter didn't give up and made the bread everyday. She looked like making bread was fun. It was only help. She ate the bread her made at breakfast, lunch, and dinner everyday.

At the day, my daughter made the croissant. It was strange because the center was thin and the end was thick. This croissant was great topic, so the guest was increased gradually. This success owed to my daughter's imagination. She was grad to sell much bread very much.

But the guest stopped to come the bakery. Because the topic that the handicapped person made the bread was spread in the world. My husband and I ware sad. How many times we cried! Handicapped person couldn't accept in the world. Was the bread that she made dirty? I thought such a thing everyday. But my daughter didn't mind that. She ate her hand made bread saying delicious. Then I could forget the trouble by looking at my daughter.

And I thought the handicapped opened in the world. I videotape that she made the bread, I handed out the near elementary school, and I broadcasted the video at the bakery. This was success very much. I sold much bread. My daughter and I ware very hard. There ware not the bread that we ate ourselves.

My daughter looked forward to increase the deposit. The salary was not so much, but her deposit was more than three hundred thousand. She smiled to herself looking the bankbook. She is funny girl. It was happy, making the favorite bread, and increase the deposit. "What do you use the money?" I asked, so she was grad and said, "What is better?"

At the day I got the big load. It was massage chair. The person who sent was my daughter. She said to buy for parents by the deposit she worked hard and hard. She used all her deposit. My husband and I ware impressed and wept hard. She said that she knew I had a stiff neck, so she chose to buy the massage chair. I thanked crying. "Don't cry. Receive that with smile. I will save money and buy something for you." She said so, and was pride.

My daughter's tenderness is similar to whom. My husband is tender but she is more. The merit of down syndrome is. Very tender. "Extremely loving" such a word is suitable. I worry about too tender daughter. Her life will lose in the future. I don't know which is early. If I die early, she will continue to work at the bakery. If my daughter dies early, I will stop to work. I will not think this kind of thing. But we must think. Because it is important. So I teach her making bread hardly. I let her entrust the cash register. The time is limited. I wait the time with fear. If I die early, my daughter will see smiling. No, she will cry. She is not stupid. But I can't answer the best. There are a few bakeries running with limited life. That is reflected the taste of the bread. My daughter weighs the material carefully, kneads, bakes bread, and good taste bread are made. She can grow up well. The growth is my live for. I find out something everyday. I thank her for these interesting lives. And I want to thank for the buyer of the bread. Your supports maintain now happiness. Please take care of my daughter.

One phrase By Takashi's mother

"Loving tender down syndrome"

Grandfather-in-law made a phrase. I remember most grad person was he at the birth of Takashi. He joined to the childbirth. He had been the midwife rare as a man. Because he picked up many baby, he realized Takashi was down syndrome at first. At the moment of Takashi's birth grandfather-in-law stopped to smile. But he was grad then. "First grandchild! First grandchild!" he cried with loud voice spreading the hospital.

At the notice he joined. My husband, I, and grandfather-in-law. It was strange situation, wasn't it? The doctor bothered a little for the grandfather-in-law. "Takashi is down syndrome, isn't he?" Grandfather-in-law said before the notice. The doctor said, "Yes, it is." That was short notice. Grandfather-in-law explained about down syndrome for us. He told that didn't worry, the merit of down syndrome, and so on. "Healing angel." He said so like a maiden. He blushed a little. Then my husband unconsciously laughed after crying. Me too. "It's OK, down syndrome." I said by his support. The doctor said, "I have not been experience these cheerful notice. "

We went to home, and looked at Takashi carefully. "He looks like the normal baby." I said so, grandfather-in-law said, "The happiness is more than the normal child, although the hardships are. And he has the several ten friends." Then he called anywhere. He called for a long time, so I asked why. So he said, "You know later." After that, he called much.

At the later, grandfather-in-law said, "Let's go to the public hall." I worry because there are no events at the public hall. But he said, so I went with him. Then there are many people at the public hall. All down syndrome persons and their family. There are about fifty pairs. Grandfather-in-law called and they came. In fact he kept the meeting of the down syndrome, when he was midwife. There are many persons from baby to forty adults of down syndrome. Grandfather-in-law made a speech in front of them. "Thank you for coming very much. An angel has come at my family. His name is Takashi." Then he carried up Takashi. All clapped. I felt much excitement. Then he made a phrase. "Loving tender down syndrome." The persons of down syndrome ware really tender. About fifty angels cerebrated Takashi's birth. There are not more than this encourages. I looked at grandfather-in-law on the stage, he wept a little. He wept too...I respected him really. Then he made another phrase, "Mr.Takashi, only the god know why you was bore."

The ceremony was getting into full swing, and closed. I thank grandfather-in-law again, so he said, "All your friends. I have friends more and more. Consult anything if you are in trouble." I cried. I was congratulated by all person. In particular I was impressed by the mother with the baby of down syndrome. She said, "You have good JIIJI. When I worried, JIIJI encouraged me. We all call your grandfather-in-law as JIIJI. With our loving."

Then I picked up Takashi from grandfather-in-law, he slept deeply as an angel. What a brave baby he was because he cerebrated with loud claps on the stage! Or was that because of JIIJI's power? I was impressed with the JIIJI's greatness again. I could forget the fear about Takashi. Thanks JIIJI!

Discrimination By Tuyoshi's mother

Do you discriminate?

I bore the baby of down syndrome who had proved with the amnio centesis. Tuyoshi was discriminated in my stomach. The nurse treated me like the swell. Excessively examination.

I gave birth to Tuyoshi with the caesarean section. Tuyoshi didn't cry at the birth. At once he went to ICU, and examined for the complication. At the result there is a hole in his heart and operation would need.

He was in the incubator. He was small and weak, connected with many tubes. "That baby isn't cute." The child who was about five years old with her mother said so looking Tuyoshi. Her mother said, "Yes, it is". Tuyoshi had the sister who was seven years old. Then she was with me, and she cried hearing that conversation. "He is cute, isn't it?" She said so like confirmed to me. "He is pretty. Cutest." I said like saying myself. She cried continuously. She cried went back.

The time passed Tuyoshi is three years old, and the operation was finished perfectly, so he is cheerful. We went to family trip. We ate foods at the hotel restaurant, the employee of the hotel (perhaps they ware part-time job) laughed pointing to Tuyoshi. How long continue the discrimination? I was magic that takes the power away from me more than angry. Then my daughter fought to say, "Why laugh!" She blamed the employee of the hotel. They regretted and said, "I'm sorry." My daughter was really brave. "Tuyoshi is my pretty brother, why don't I defend him." She said every time. I thought I had to defend him, but my power was removed. My husband said, "Don't keep the people who discriminated company." But if so, Tuyoshi is pitiful.

The accidental meeting had at the hotel. I met the classmate in the high school. And surprisingly her daughter was down syndrome. She is pretty and ten years old. I wept this meeting. I felt it was gift from the god. We spoke a little and I said about the discrimination, she encouraged me, "Don't mind that! The mother must be tough." I hear her words crying and decided to be tough. My classmate and I went to complain to the employee of the hotel. The manager came and apologized. I felt I was done. My body was hot, and the power was boiled. But Tuyoshi didn't laugh. "Don't fight." He looked like saying so.

Tuyoshi doesn't like fighting. He is fun even by discrimination. Although he is too young to understand that, but he is mild. Discrimination will be hit him. Don't fight that with the power, and try that position hard. I learned that thought from Tuyoshi. In such a meaning, Tuyoshi grows tough boy. He will be able to clear the discrimination. Surely my daughter, my husband, and I will support with all our might. I consult to classmate by e-mail. I felt that our family ware directed to the correct by the discrimination at the hotel. But discrimination doesn't run out. I think that in the bottom of my heart. I don't fight to that, but try hard not to be lost. I felt that is difficult than my thought.

Nursing By Ichita's mother

At the day I felt consciously thing. My child is not an angel but is the devil. It was the god' trick that the devil was sent at my home. I was hard so that.

Ten months passed after Ichita's birth. He cried hard at night, so I was limited mental and physical acceptability. My husband looked at such me, he called his mother and she came my house. She took care of Ichita at night, so I can sleep full. It was great help. But next, she was in trouble because she waked up at night and slept at daytime. So she went back her house. I took care of Ichita again. That was natural situation. But after grandmother-in-law went back, Ichita didn't cry at night.

At the day, I waked up consciously, my daughter Akiko (nine years old) hugged Ichita in her arms, and singed a lullaby. She nursed at midnight. She went to the school at the daytime, and took care of Ichita at night. "Akiko, you don't need to nurse. It's my work." I said so, she answered "I nurse because Ichita is cute Let me like myself. Please sleep." Akiko got usually full marks of the test at the elementary school. She came back from the school, studied homeworks, helped making dinner, and nursed Ichita at night. Was this schoolchild existent?

At the day her teacher called me. "Recently Miss Akiko often slept at the school, is it OK? I looked like she is very hard." I asked Akiko, "Do you sleep at the school?" She answered clearly "No!" I felt she was OK if she said so.

But the situation was worse. Akiko was clearly in poor condition. "Akiko, you should not do hard really." I said so many times. Then she said, "Ichita is my pretty brother. And I want you to be cheerful." I was admonished by the nine years old girl. Akiko got full marks of the school test usually. Her pride full marks. I felt Ichita was not the devil but an angel. It was clearly because of her behavior. My family was one. I felt so.

So now at my house, if Ichita cried at night, my husband, Akiko, and I nursed in turns. Then the hardship was nothing. Although we spent swung several months by an angel, the meaning was much, and in particular Akiko grew better. Her presence was like not the sister, but the second mother.

Then we welcomed Ichita's one-year-old ceremony. We singed happy birthday, then Akiko started to cry. Usually she didn't cry, but then she cried. The tension was broken. She cried, cried, and cried. "Mother, I was too hard. Really I want to depend on whom. But if I depend on anybody, the person will be hard. I hold out." She said so. "You did hard. I was rescued by you. You are great. Akiko is an angel too. I think that Ichita thank you very much." When I said so, Ichita smiled cheerfully. "Thank you the sister." He looked like saying so, and he hugged Akiko in his arms. Akiko was hugged such Ichita, she cried more. "Ichita, please thank Akiko. She is the most understanding person for you. If Ichita is an angel, Akiko is the god. Thank you, Akiko. And Ichita, don't cry at night." My husband said. Ichita was grad very much. He looked forward to cry at night. He looked like enjoying the skin ship with Akiko. "He likes Akiko too much." My husband was astonished. Then Ichita said, "Akiko." He said many times, "Akiko, Akiko." It was the best present from Ichita to Akiko. That he said the word at first was "Akiko" not papa or mama. Akiko heard this and cried hard. She said, "I'm grad, Ichita, I really am grad." "Akiko's efforts ware amply rewarded." My husband said. "Yes!" Akiko said with the full loving deeply smile as if she is the god. Then the smiling and the crying ware the same time, I got gooseflesh. My family all got gooseflesh. I only pray Akiko's efforts ware rewarded.

Friends By K.T

I heard that seven years younger sister was down syndrome from my parents when I was fourth grade at the elementary school.

Until then I didn't know that, so I felt her face was strange a little.

Now I am ashamed really and sorry.

But before I heard that she had handicapped, in fact I felt she was the same for the normal child.

I thought what was "Handicapped child". The normal before I heard, but after I treat a distance.

Although it was difficult, I was at a loss that was the better I told to my friends or not. Because they sometimes came my home, and played with my sister.

I told friends that my sister was down syndrome at the sixth grade. Then they answered, "We know."

I was surprised. They played with her knowing that. They played friendly no prejudice knowing she was handicapped. I was moved and cried unconsciously when I heard that. "Thank you. Thank you." I only thanked.

Till now I thought about my sister. My friends didn't have the prejudice, but I had. I felt so. Why? I couldn't answer. So I consulted to my mother, then she said, "Me too."

I was surprised unexpected answer. "What? You are!" I shouted unconsciously. My mother continued to say, "I feel that the people who are around us have the prejudice less than we think. Not need to take a posture. Our load increases a little because of handicapped, but your friends have no load. We have hardship, but your friends have no hardship."

And my mother said, "My family's feeling emotion is not prejudice. It is [love]. My loving son, the loving feeling let you think so. You look like you must defend her. Then you take a posture and think like a prejudice. I think it is so. Treat without the power. She will grow slowly. Don't worry."

I thought my hardship was removed. "Love!" I got correct answer. Surely I love her. There was not such a pretty sister. Love and prejudice, didn't confuse these two emotion.

Since then my emotion for my sister changed. I felt clearly like the cloud was lost. I could not worry about that someone looked her with the prejudice eyes when went out with my sister. Surely the prejudice was. But I was not sensitive about that. Because there was "Love" between us.

Baby carriage By Tetuo&Tatuji's mother

I have two sons, Tetuo who is the normal and Tatuji who is down syndrome.

Tetuo is nine years old and Tatuji is three years old.

Tetuo takes care of Tatuji very carefully.

When we went to the term park, Tetuo carried the baby carriage of Tatuji.

But once the trouble happened. Before one year, the story was when we went to the department store. I was surprised at that time. Tetuo was eight years old and Tatuji was two years old. Tetuo who carried the baby carriage of Tatuji was walking no baby carriage. "Where did you leave the baby carriage?" I asked him, but he didn't answer where. He said just, "I don't know." My husband and I sought for Tatuji with the loud voice "Tatuji! Tatuji!" We asked the salesclerks and the guests around us, but we can't find. "Kidnapping?" we thought so. We ware shaken and broadcasted. Then the baby carriage was found at the side of the toilet. "Where is Tatuji?" my husband shouted. I sought for lady's toilet and my husband sought for men's toilet. Then at the men's toilet I heard Tatuji's crying. My husband beat the door of toilet room and shouted "Tatuji!" Then the door was opened. There ware Tetuo hugging Tatuji in his arms. My husband unconsciously hit Tetuo's cheek. "What are you doing?" my husband shouted, but Tetuo didn't answer. He was crying only, and then the happening was settled.

After that my husband and I have the distrust for Tetuo.

"Why?" after a week of that, Tetuo answered the question. He said, "Father and mother are always care only Tatuji." We ware surprised. Surely we thought only Tatuji. Tetuo was eight years old, so he wanted to behave like a spoiled child. The emotion was the peak, so the happening was caused. At the happening we also thought about only Tatuji, forgot Tetuo.

We felt the difficulty of the consideration for the brother keenly. The elder brother wanted to behave like a spoiled child. In particular we had to take care of Tatuji because of down syndrome. But it was just the excuse. Tetuo had the right to get parents love too. By equal.

Then we spend carefully with the loves for Tetuo. I think it is the best that I feel the love for Tetuo is too much. Then the love is equal. Tetuo gives the love to Tatuji, which he gets from us. He is really tender. Now we entrust him the baby carriage again.

Growth from the respect of the life By doctor

I am the child doctor. I had seen the growth of down syndrome. I hate amnio centesis. I talk about that just in case, many families say it not need. When they bore the child of down syndrome, almost all families ware depressed at first. In fact there are families who cry hard. I have the words for such families. "Please celebrate the birth of the baby. Only that will be OK. The baby is rescued by that." It isn't the unfortunate result surely, if the baby is down syndrome. The family's ties are increased rather.

The family (family name was Kato) said, "We want to leave the baby..." I was surprised even. I researched anyway whether the adopted child is possible. But it was difficult. I said so, they asked me, "How do we do now?" I answered, "Grow your child with full power. There are not the other answer." The tenderness, healing power, and joy when the children of down syndrome do anything that they didn't. I told the families that it was best to grow their child steadily for the merit as the bread. Kato's child was special growth later; he could belong to the normal class at the normal school.

But all children don't go to the normal school. There are many children who go to the supported school. It is not correct which is better. Both are better. Family should congratulate the growth that their child grows schoolchild. And families don't avoid comparing their child to the other child in particular the normal children. But the compare is no meaning. The merits of down syndrome are that the normal children don't have. The mild smile of pure forever, the vitality that although they mistake sometimes, go trough with smile, they are the angels that let their family be happy.

I feel it's not only the meaning that they are bore for the probability one to one thousand. I think they are bore at the selected family. I hear those topics. "The selected family from the god." I believe this story.

There are various persons who read this writing. The family who get the baby of down syndrome, the persons who have got the child of down syndrome, the persons who are interested in the down syndrome. I want to say for them that please look at the children of down syndrome with the special care. Although it hears wrong, but they are special. They are tender compare to the normal children, but don't listen attentions, and they heal around them, but take care of them hard. In short the difference is bigger. If you can get the characters, the quality of the growing will be higher. Please, grow for the long span.

And I explain the importance of the brother. The growths that have the brother are better tendency. As above, Kato's family has the brother and two sisters. I hear the brothers encouraged the parents, when they ware depressed. The brother said, "Why do you cry?" His father answered, "The baby has down syndrome, it will not be cured." And the brother said, "He isn't the same for the normal baby. Why don't you be grad for new family? The disease isn't avoided. Hey, let him eat the cake." The father wept unconsciously for this conversation. How positive the brother was! It was more than our imaging that the children accept tolerantly.

For getting the baby of down syndrome. The friends will appear surely. It is maybe your family, the nurse, friends, and neighbors...there are surely. I also your friends. Please actively take care of your child, don't be depressed. The doctors support secretly.

Walk By Hayato's mother

My first son, Hayato was down syndrome. When we got the notice, everybody said nothing. We felt the end of the world had come. My mother was sorry for my husband's parents. The parents said it was not avoided, so it was fate. I think now, we should think about Hayato more. He was bore! Why we ware not grad? The respect of the life and the real of the handicapped. We families continued to be painful between those dilemmas.

His growth was slowly. He was my first baby, so I didn't know the slow pace, but I looked at my friend's children, the difference was clear. Although my friend's children run around, Hayato could only toss and turn. How slow he was! Since I didn't meet my friends. Then grandmother-in-law said, "Because Hayato's growth is slow, we grow more." Then I could not understand the meaning, but I got the meaning day after day. I did various care for Hayato. I felt I was the professional of the childcare.

The big present was sent from such Hayato. When he was four years old, he could walk at first! My husband and I cried hard. I recorded the movie in hurry. Next day, my husband's parents and my mother came for distance to look at Hayato's walk. At that time, he didn't walk. I said, "Walk! Hayato! Go! Walk!" But he didn't walk. When I went to the toilet, the big cheer out of the toilet. It seems he walked. When I went back, Hayato stood. He showed the great walk. All wept with joy. "Hayato, you are clever!" grandmother-in-law said. Then he walked more one step and smiled full. I couldn't expect this happiness had come. My families ware like stupid. Just adult, we ware cheerful and crying by looking at the child's walk...I was really happy.

I feel more joyful when he can do the same thing for the normal children. This is great happiness. I feel cheerful for a little thing. When he first walked, I was impressed several hundred times more than the moon walk (I'm sorry bad example). Hayato's growth is slow compare to the children of down syndrome. But I don't be depressed. I want to respect his pace. This is important. Usually the parents teach their children doing the same for the normal children. But the behavior is often the load for the children. This is difficult, if parents don't teach more, their children are comfortable, but children will be maybe in trouble in the future. Parents teach more, their children are painful, but the growth will be fast...It seems the childcare that is the same for the normal children. It's one of my great growths that I know that. I think the same childcare for the normal children.

Such Hayato is twenty years old now. He works at the near workshop. He went to there everyday by walking. He likes walking because of his memory that if he walks, the families are grad. At the weekend he, my husband, and I take a walk around neighborhood. We often went to hike too. I remember various things when I am walking. The things that he walked at first, he went to the elementary school, and he was made fun of and came back with tears, I remember good or bad things. Although we can be healthy by walking, moreover I can sort out in my heart. After now I teach him the happiness of walking, and I was taught by him. Hayato, thank you.

Super-meeting of down syndrome By permanent

Do you know the joy of the meeting of down syndrome? We meet twice a month, and make the meeting paper, but we spend to speak all the time. This speaking is full. The child growth, the happening at the school, and the life at home. We speak all of them. We go to the meeting with our children, so they are friends, play cheerfully, sometimes they quarrel, they spend full day.

This month the new mother who got the baby of down syndrome joined to the meeting. We spent like always. The new mother felt strange for our normal behavior and asked, "How do you think your child' handicapped?" I answered, "I feel having a permanent at first." "What?" the new mother said. I continued, "Although I feel unnatural till getting used, but I get used, it is fit and pop. I feel better before." "Better before..." the new mother said so, droops her head, weeps. "I'm sorry! I said with light mind. Don't mind." I followed, but the time was too late, the new mother cried. I said, "It is really better before! Hey, your child plays cheerfully with the friends." We looked at the children, the friends gather around the child of the new mother and take care of her child. The new mother cried hard looking that. "I don't cry with sad, but with joy. I am grad to join these great meeting. Thank you." The new mother cried by clear the fear. I wept too.

I remembered when I join to this meeting at first. I could say to neighbors that my child is down syndrome. We spent at home almost all days. Then the healthy nurse came my home and told about the meeting. At first we went to the meeting with the healthy nurse. I felt the fear and occurred the injured things. But it was the same now at that time. All people spent speaking hole a day. My child was grad to be taken care of by the other children. I can't forget the words that the senior mother said at the end of meeting, "Your child isn't inferior. The parents who think their child is inferior are inferior. Find out the merit of your child. There are surely. If you can find, you can take care of your child with joy." I was moved and engraved the words many times.

Then I looked forward to open the meeting. My child too. I found only two merits of my child. One was my child often took care of. At the meeting he was like the leader, and he let new child play together. Another merit was easily moved to tears. He didn't cry easily, but he cried when above new mother cried. And he wiped hid tears away and took care of her child. He can stand up for crying persons.

If there is the problem at the meeting, that is gathering only parents who have handicapped child. If this point is clear, the meeting will be more powerful group. Is it possible? I can't be sure now. But I pray the time will come. Handicapped are not equaled inferior. It is important that the parents have the confidence. And behave with joy. If we enjoy, the parents who have the normal children look forward to join the meeting. It will be the starting.

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